Girl With One Track Mind (Sexhunters)
I Fell in Love on the Northern Line
All I Want For Christmas Is My Computer by Maggie Doyle
I've had the busiest Christmas and I never left the house;
I've lived inside my study with a computer and a mouse.
I've discovered all the websites of all the well known stores
Cold and rain don't bother me - I don't care if it pours
For I have found the gateway to a world where I can pick
And choose and shop and buy to celebrate St. Nic.
It started when I found a site "Christmas Cards Online"
Free to send to anyone, anywhere, at any time
And so I got my email list of relatives and friends and
Matched them up with moving cards of turtle doves, French hens,
Doggies making snowballs (ah!) and Christmas trees that twinkled,
All of which burst into life with falling snow, well sprinkled.
With festive greetings on their way, I headed for Phase Two
Of coping with the Christmas chores and what I had to do;
I opened up the website for Amazon, no, not the river,
The burning question on my lips - "How soon could they deliver?"
A book on valuing antiques I got for Uncle Fred, and then another one, for George,
But remembering he was dead, decided that I'd change it for gardening tips galore
Which I could give to Uncle Sid, that man is such a bore.
Now Jenny wanted Star Wars - it was just out on CD and
Miriam had asked for Friends - a series on TV.
But cousin Jim was proving to be very problematic until his mother told me
He was heavily into Gothic -
So I bought him a book on buildings!
With Cary Grant and Doris Day a snip at three pounds each,
That was Nan and Grandad sorted - success within my reach.
Another click and Marks and Sparks flashed up onto my screen,
I moved the mouse and with a tap, bought a jumper - holly green.
I hope my husband likes it, if not he'll surely say and it's only just another click to sell it on e-Bay/
With pressies bought and greetings sent now everything was fine
It just remained for me to browse for food - Tesco Online
But as I virtually moved the trolley around the virtual shelves
I realised with sickening heart that Santa's little elves
Had beaten me to turkey breast, mince pies and brandy sauce,
My search for food and festive cheer was seriously off course.
My blood ran cold, I got the shakes, my blood pressure was popping;
The one resolve, the only was proper
SHOPPING, SHOPPING, SHOPPING!!
Posted: December 2007. Copyright: Maggie Doyle.