Girl With One Track Mind (Sexhunters)
I Fell in Love on the Northern Line
Give Me A Haircut Like Byron!
'What're yer having done today?' asks the barber,
clutching electric clippers, his cherished tool,
'Give me a haircut like Byron!' I say,
Says he: 'A Number One or Number Two?'
'No,' say I, 'A cut like Lord Byron's.
'Rich in romance and charm galore.'
The barber fidgets and says, 'I see.
'A Number Three or Number Four!'
'My dear bloodmonger,' say I, 'That is not what I so covet.
'I want a hair-cut like George Gordon Byron!'
'Short, back and sides?' asks he desperately,
'Or why not 'ave it slap'ead shaven?'
'No, none of this would suffice!' I say,
'Every raven tress must wave with nameless grace!'
'You want it shampooed?' the barber asks.
'NO! Just softly lightening o'er my face.'
'Have you got a photo of yer Mister Byron?' says he,
'Oh, yes,' I say. 'Here's one I took earlier.'
The Barber studies the portrait and says: 'I'll get the girl!'
And now my hair is poncy and curlier!