Girl With One Track Mind (Sexhunters)
I Fell in Love on the Northern Line
Saturday Night at the J H Tavern
I Fought The Law and I Won
At first The Wall of Blue
seemed utterly impenetrable,
the coppers would not heed my call,
they were hardly listening at all,
snatching my car was absurd,
never again would I drive The Last Word
in Luxury - my true and trusty chariot
in fire-engine red with sounds, cooker - the lot!
so I wrote to the Chief Constable,
to see what he might do,
a note a thousand words in duration,
the Chief ordered an investigation,
his force's lies and gaffes were picked apart,
my complaint came staight from the heart,
the subjunctive was my choice of truncheon,
the mighty gerund drawing out their gumption,
words were my weapons agin riot shields,
my pen was the point which made them yield,
drawing an officer to my pad in the sky,
to explain misconduct and apologise,
yet still no compensation came my way,
for the cops to cough a new game I'd play,
the Chief let slip his email address,
with that I knew I'd make my arrest,
my words soared like missiles through cyberspace,
e-missive after missive with ineffable pace,
facing a war of verbal attrition,
the Chief had to shift position,
the thin blue line became a curve,
I received the pay-out I deserved,
unlike The Clash I succeeded in what I'd begun,
I Fought The Law and I Won.
Also see Nightmare blog