Girl With One Track Mind (Sexhunters)
I Fell in Love on the Northern Line
Persian Sailing
Welcome home,
Britain's sons and daughter
after your botched 'intelligence' mission
in disputed Persian waters.
We're glad you're dandy and fine,
Your souk suits looked kinda hip,
When the gunboat came, did you wonder:
where was your mother ship?
What a simply awful ordeal you've been through,
The Allies would never treat suspects that way;
we Westerners were oh-so-civilised
at Abu Ghraib Jail and Guantanamo Bay.
Welcome home, Lady Sailor,
to your green and pleasant land,
Follow the spindoctor's tip: if you feel a failure,
rlog your sob story for a hundred grand!
Welcome back, our dearhearts,
after your masterclass in geography,
and enjoying a Warholian fifteen minutes
of fame on Anglo-Persian TV.